Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
