I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
