I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
