HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
