Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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