NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
