is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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