i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
