no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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