Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
