Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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