Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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