I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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