if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
