If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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