so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize