Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
