I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
