Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
