i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
