You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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