singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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