Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
