Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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