he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
