You can't special order awesome
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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