I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize