Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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