He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
