So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
