He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Enjoy the penises
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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