Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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