the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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