Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
