I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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