mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
