I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize