I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
