Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
