My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
