I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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