Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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