I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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