Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I lost the right to judge tonight
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
