Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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