so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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