I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
