i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize