i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
BRING THE BAGELS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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