why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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