Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
