Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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