brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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