I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
