It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jerry, you need to find god
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize