I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
