Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
