I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
