It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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