She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
