I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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