who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
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