Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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