I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
