he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
